Do you know what you’re doing in online marketing? (Or Are You Just Really Good at Faking It?)
You know that old adage: “Fake it ’til you make it “?
Welcome to the ultimate test of your ability to fake it ’til you make it in the wild world of online marketing. Whether you’re a solo entrepreneur, digital chaos coordinator, or proud owner of a “launching soon” landing page that’s been “launching soon” since 2021 — this quiz is for you.
Score high, and you’ll receive your “Certified Looks-Like-I-Know-What-I’m-Doing Online Marketing Professional” badge.
Score low, and you’ll still get a badge. It just might be printed in Comic Sans.
Let’s see if you can look the part (even if you have no idea what you’re doing).
- You’re on a Zoom call and someone says “Let’s circle back.” You:
- Nod deeply, as if this unlocks a sacred marketing rune.
B. Say “Absolutely,” then immediately forget what you were circling back to.
C. Pretend you’re frozen until the conversation moves on.
D. Yell “BINGO!” because you just filled your Corporate Jargon card.
- You finally launch your website. What do you forget?
- The “About” page. You have no idea who you are right now.
B. The mobile version. It looks like a Picasso painting on a phone.
C. The buy button. Just vibes, no commerce.
D. Literally everything except the footer. You crushed that footer.
- Your email subject line reads:
- “{FirstName}, this is not a drill.”
B. “Open me. I dare you.”
C. “Oops, I did a marketing.”
D. “Newsletter #8.” (It’s your first newsletter.)
- What’s your go-to content strategy?
- Screenshot tweets, add yellow highlighter, post.
B. Carousel slides that reveal absolutely nothing until Slide 7.
C. Reels of you pointing at words in space.
D. Reposting your own comment and saying, “This needed a post of its own.”
- How do you schedule your content?
- A spreadsheet named “FINAL-FINAL-V3-forrealthisone.xlsx”
B. Sticky notes arranged in a semi-religious altar around your monitor.
C. You whisper “Please go viral” and click ‘Post.’
D. You don’t. Time is an illusion and so is consistency.
- Someone asks what you do. You respond:
- “Uhh… I help people… you know… do better… online.”
B. “I build brand ecosystems.” (You don’t know what that means.)
C. “I’m in marketing.” Then you run.
D. “It’s complicated,” like you’re describing a forbidden love affair.
- When in doubt, you:
- Check what that one internet bro is doing, then do the opposite.
B. Copy a tweet from 2020 and hope no one remembers.
C. Make a meme. If it flops, delete and pretend it never happened.
D. Create a poll: “Are you also winging it? Yes / Definitely yes.”
- What’s your homepage headline?
- “Helping Visionaries Disrupt the Status Quo Using Synergistic Innovation.”
B. “Hi. I do stuff. Please pay me.”
C. Just a Canva image and your astrological sign.
D. “WELCOME TO THE FUTURE,” with a typo in “future.”
- What’s your brand voice?
- Chill, confident, and slightly unhinged.
B. Motivational quotes + passive-aggressive captions.
C. Whatever tone ChatGPT gave you in the last draft.
D. Seven fonts in one sentence and a Canva background that screams.
- What’s your marketing mantra?
- “Post with purpose!”
B. “Never let them know your next move.”
C. “Slap a CTA on it and walk away.”
D. “It’s not lying if it’s branded.”
Scoring:
Give yourself 1 point for every time you laughed, snorted, or thought, “Oh no, that’s me.”
Give yourself 2 bonus points if you’ve ever googled “what does B2B mean again?”
Add 5 points if your desktop has more than 100 screenshots right now.
Subtract 3 points if you have a daily posting schedule and actually stick to it. (Who are you?)
Results
0–5 POINTS: “Barely Blending Beginner”
You’ve got the hoodie. You’ve got the URL. And that’s about it. But you know what? You’re here. And that’s 90% of marketing.
6–12 POINTS: “Strategically Scattered Specialist”
You know just enough to be dangerous — mostly to yourself. But your content slaps, your memes land, and your audience loves the chaos. Keep it weird.
13–20 POINTS: “Brand Wizard of the Fake-It-Real-Good Realm”
You’re a vibe, a spreadsheet avoider, and a master of illusion. You might not have a funnel, but you are the funnel. Teach us your mysterious ways.
Your Certificate:
The Academy of Strategic Vibing hereby awards you the title of:
“Certified Looks-Like-I-Know-What-I’m-Doing Online Marketing Professional (Level: Dangerously Believable)”
Print it. Frame it. Add it to your email signature. You’ve earned it.
