“I am a fairly compassionate guy”, says guest author Ryan Biddulph.
I understand that critics fear and criticize from an energy of fear and pain. But I also know that being human, I can frame critics as dum dums. Think of it this way. If you walked into an ice cream store and ordered a chocolate ice cream cone, and you felt disappointed in the quality of the ice cream cone, would you sit there for 15 minutes to complain to the ice cream shop owner about the ice cream cone? Morons would do this. Idiots would do this. We all have experiences easily labeled as disappointments from time to time during our human experience. Whining like a baby for minute after minute, let alone 15 to 20 minutes, makes you look like a dum dum with the emotional intelligence of a sea cucumber.
Fools who spend 5 to 10 minutes to write in-depth negative reviews of my eBooks are not morons for disliking my eBooks but these people are fools for spending 15 minutes giving their attention and energy to what they do not like. Why? Where your attention and energy goes, grows. These dingbats get more of what they do not like because they give their focus for sustained periods to what they do not like. Unintelligent way to live.
Complaining indicates weakness because complaining is fear and fear is illusion and fear is not really there. Genuinely grateful, appreciative people almost never complain because every experience unwraps a certain gift for them to receive. You can ask my wife Kelli; after years of mindset aka energy training and exiting my comfort zone and embracing a fair amount of hardship, I rarely complain. She probably cannot remember the last time I complained because I cannot remember the last time I complained for more than a few minutes. Why? I feel my fears frequently so I have a tough time complaining about anything because complaints feed on fear and if you don't have a ton of fear you cannot complain. Plus you'll just be appreciative for everything.
Okay; I had to set the table for this post because too many bloggers spend minutes, hours or even weeks or longer taking blogging dum dum detours. I have compassion for critics because I know they are afraid but in the same breath, critics are dum dums. Why would you spend 5 minutes or 10 minutes or a week or, five months down the road, why would you spend even a minute complaining about a blogging critic AKA dum dum? Unfortunately, most bloggers lack the emotional intelligence to avoid taking dum dum detours.
You know what I mean about dum dum detours right? Spending 5 minutes or 10 minutes complaining about critics. Sure you are entitled to be a little annoyed at a critical barb for a moment or two but the moment becomes a dum-dum detour when you devote 5 or 10 minutes or longer to stewing or complaining about criticism. Spend those 20 minutes writing blog posts. Do not spend those 20 minutes rounding up your troops to belittle the critic. Spend more than a few minutes fighting a dum dum and you know what that makes you: a fellow dum dum. Ouch.
Taking detours pulls you off course from your purpose. Taking detours to fight critics or to assail critics or to belittle critics pulls you away from the blogging stuff you need to do to live your dreams. Plus, if a critic really gets under your skin you should thank them instead of destroying them, because they showed you what you need to face to become a more successful blogger. I felt super self-conscious about my blog many years ago. Critics just reflected deep fears back to me I needed to face, feel and release to become a more successful blogger.
If someone criticizes me now I do not feel fear or anger or resentment. I simply see a suffering person attempting to project their fear onto me so I get out of the way. But if some seem particularly nasty about their criticism, I may see them as a dum dum in one of my more human moments but I move on immediately.
No sense taking a blogging dum-dum detour, right?
Do you have a tough time dealing with critics?
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